The list for December 10, 1997
The Top 15 Little-Known Effects of El Nino
- Weather Channel temporarily passes Knitting Channel in ratings.
- During concert, Hanson breaks out into a raucous version of "mmmGuantanamera."
- Tori Spelling, confused by lack of sunshine, goes into hibernation.
- Unusually high tides in silicon implants responsible for delaying production of Barb Wire 2.
- Jacko gets a "Woodrow", if you know what I mean. (Oops! Wrong kind of El Nino.)
- Instead of flying south, Canadian geese just cross the border to shop.
- Home Shopping Network’s ratings plummet as trailer park residents nationwide seek higher ground.
- Increased moisture in air means William Shatner needs less SuperGlue to hold his hair down.
- In a first for a weather pattern, El Nino signs with Nike for a cool 36 million.
- Groundhog comes out of his hole on Feb. 2 and — ZAP — the only thing left of his hairy little butt is the smell of burnt fur and ozone.
- Matt Lauer responds to everything Katie Couric says with a booming "Claro Que Si!"
- Minor changes in Earth’s magnetic field allow Jennifer Aniston to complete a thought.
- Rash of "muskrat" sightings in Vegas turns out to be thousands of toupees floating in from Hollywood.
- Confused British nannies begin swinging babies counter-clockwise instead of clockwise.
And the Number 1 Little-Known Effect of El Nino…
- "Ten inches and rising" now refers to flood waters.
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CREDITS
Selected from 132 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 1 (3rd #1)
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 2
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 3
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 3
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 4, 12
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA — 5, 14
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 6, 7
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 7
- Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Canada — 8
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 9
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 10
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 11
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 13
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 15
- LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — Topic
- Tisha Stacey, Lisle, IL — Topic
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Banner Tag
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — Congrats on his 300th entry!
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Babyface, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
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