The list for August 1, 1996
The Top 16 Lingering Effects of Beatlemania
- Boneheads world over breaking CD players trying to listen to “A Day in the Life” backwards.
- Nauseatingly cute sandwich shop advertisements for “Yellow Submarine with Sgt. Peppers.”
- Paul still uninsurable because carriers all think he’s dead.
- Inability to say “Number Nine” without repeating oneself.
- Forty-something sales reps still occasionally write “Mrs. Paul McCartney” in pink ballpoint on the margins of their Daytimers.
- Having to listen to somebody’s grandmother go on and on about the night she “did Paul.”
- Australian rap groups seldom struggle to find a rhyme for “Dingo.”
- Zookeepers constantly annoyed by visitors shouting, “Hey Paul! Paul!” at the walruses.
- Yoko still riding that cash cow!
- Beatles not only bigger than Jesus, but now also bigger than Buddha.
- People always telling Yasser Arafat what a great drummer he is.
- The dream of becoming the first Pope John Paul George Ringo still burns in the heart of a middle-aged Vatican priest.
- Imagine there’s no hippies, it’s easy if you try.
- Guidance counselors constantly pushing girls named Rita toward careers in parking enforcement.
- Every day, three or four barefoot jaywalkers are mowed down on Abbey Road.
And the Number 1 Lingering Effect of Beatlemania…
- Ted Koppel’s hair.
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CREDITS
Selected from 112 submissions by 32 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 1, 8 (1st #1!)
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 2, 12
- Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA — 3
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 4
- Matt Alford, Salem, OR — 5
- Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA — 5
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 6
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 7
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 8
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 9
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 10
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 11
- Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 13
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 14
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 15
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 16
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 16
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 16
- Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister, Topic
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