Lesser-Known Sports Injuries

The list for April 26, 2013

Match your number to the winning number

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

David Lee of the Golden State Warriors is
going to miss the rest of the NBA playoffs
with a torn hip flexor — whatever THAT is.

The Top 16 Lesser-Known Sports Injuries

16. inflamed mandible from trash-talking
    

15. incessant junk-adjustment disorder
    

14. April sadness
    

13. blockage of the plate
    

12. third-person-self-referral disorder
    

11. bencherrhoids
    

10. fear-of-being-outed paralysis
    

9. golfer’s yawn
   

8. detached rectum (usually during a severe ass-kicking)
   

7. Schwimmer’s ear
   

6. hyperextended middle finger
   

5. post-date-with-Madonna strained groin
   

4. twisted internet girlfriend revelation (Manti T’eo only)
   

3. PDSF (Post Dramatic Stress Fracture) — AKA "flopper’s break"
   

2. extreme entourage enlargement disorder

And the Number 1 Lesser-Known Sports Injuries…

1. bruised contract negotiations due to drunken tweeting

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CREDITS

Selected from 109 submissions from 39 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

• Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 1, 12 (6th #1)
• Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 2, 4
• Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 3, 16
• Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 3, 8
• Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5
• J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 6
• Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 6
• Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan — 6
• Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 7
• Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 9
• Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 10
• Sue Prifogle Otte, Rushville, IN — 11
• David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA — 13
• Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 14
• Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA — 15
• Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 16
• Adrienne Commeree, Olympia, WA — Topic
• Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — Banner Tag
• Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor

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