Least Useful Technologies of the Future

The list for July 11, 1997
The Top 15 Least Useful Technologies
of the Future

  1. ASCII IMAX theaters

  2. ChocoAlchemy — converts "Yoo Hoo" to "Nestle’s Quik"

  3. "Mr. Scratchy" Self-Adjusting Cup For Major League Ballplayers

  4. New wraparound 12 TV picture tube engineered for optimal TNN line-dancing display

  5. Pod bay doors

  6. The "I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tofu!" Burrito

  7. The Dennis Rodman Mood Wig

  8. Appendix transplants

  9. The "TeshStop 2000" — automatically blocks bad new age music.

  10. IBM’s Deep Woo: Able to write and direct over 200 million Hong Kong style action movies per second.

  11. Underfresh – Gasses passing through become Springtime fresh.

  12. Virtual hors d’oeuvres for videoconferences

  13. Penile Reduction Surgery

  14. Baldwin Goggles — To identify which Baldwin brother is which
And the Number 1 Least Useful Technology of the Future…

  1. The Snot Matrix printer
.
CREDITS
Selected from 123 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 1 (8th #1)
  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 2
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 3
  • Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA — 4
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 5
  • Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA — 6
  • Marianne Tatom, Austin, TX — 7
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 8
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 9
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 10
  • Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 11
  • Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 12, Topic
  • Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL — 13
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY — 14
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 15
  • R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
T5071197

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