The list for February 28, 1997
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
IMPORTANT LAWSUIT-AVOIDING DISCLAIMER-TYPE NOTICE:
The following list is a comedic look at the book, “Dianetics,”
and its author, the world-renowned, highly-esteemed, late
science fiction writer/adventurer/yachtsman/horticulturist
L. Ron Hubbard. In it we stretch the truth, bend the facts,
and probably even make up some stuff. Nothing you read here
should be taken seriously. I’m sure the Scientologists are
fine people. Okay, I’m not *really* sure, but there’s always
the remote chance that they’re fine people, isn’t there?
Regardless, we don’t want them suing us (not that they’re
famous for doing that or anything), so don’t believe anything
you read here. Just laugh at it, then go back to your jobs.
The following list is a comedic look at the book, “Dianetics,”
and its author, the world-renowned, highly-esteemed, late
science fiction writer/adventurer/yachtsman/horticulturist
L. Ron Hubbard. In it we stretch the truth, bend the facts,
and probably even make up some stuff. Nothing you read here
should be taken seriously. I’m sure the Scientologists are
fine people. Okay, I’m not *really* sure, but there’s always
the remote chance that they’re fine people, isn’t there?
Regardless, we don’t want them suing us (not that they’re
famous for doing that or anything), so don’t believe anything
you read here. Just laugh at it, then go back to your jobs.
The Top 15 Least Known
Chapters in “Dianetics”
Chapters in “Dianetics”
- “Getting Chicks To Say Yes: L. Ron Answers the Booty Call”
- “Hey, If It’s In a Bestseller, It MUST Be True!”
- “Travolta 3:16”
- “Making Your Own E-meter With Dixie Cups And Duct Tape”
- “Chapter 26: In Which Luke Discovers that L. Ron Vader is His Real Father”
- “Chapter 5: Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot”
- “‘Old Mother’ Hubbard — L. Ron, the Transvestite Years”
- “Chapter 12: Geez, You’re Still Buying This, Aren’t You?”
- “The Human Mind: That Vast Realm Half an Inch Behind the Forehead (Two Inches Back for Scott Hamilton)”
- “When a Lawsuit Hits Your Eye, Like a Big Pizza Pie, That’s Scientology”
- “He’s NOT the Telescope Guy!”
- “Chapter 11 – How To File For It”
- “Movie Stars — Are They Gullible, or What?”
- “Chapter 3: Post This on the Internet and We’ll Sue Your Ass!”
And the Number 1 Least Known Chapter in “Dianetics”…
- “Commandment Number One: ‘Show Me the Money!'”
.
CREDITS
Selected from 105 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- O.J. Simpson, Brentwood, CA — 1 (Guilty of his 1st #1!)
- John Paul, Vatican City — 2
- Reader’s Digest — 3
- Joan D’Arc, France — 4
- Tammy Fae Messner, Bible Belt — 5, 12
- Albert Belle, Clevel– er, Chicago — 6
- H. Ross Perot, Dallas, TX — 7
- Mrs. Olson, Folgers, CO — 8
- Mary Richards, New York, NY — 9
- Riddick Bowe, Parris Island — 10
- Willie Nelson, Austin, TX — 11
- anonymous, anytown, USA — 13
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 14
- Tori Spelling, Lso Angeels, CL — 15
- John Smith, Tulsa, OK — Topic
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