The list for February 21, 1997
The Top 14 Least Frightening Curses
- May the next letter you open give you a VERY nasty paper cut!
- May you wake up from an afternoon nap and think it to be the next morning!
- A plague on both your spouses!
- May the Macarena haunt you all of your days!
- A plague be on both your AA batteries and ye shall be forced to leave the couch to change thy channel!
- You are hereby cursed to walk forevermore with a tofu burrito in your pants!
- May receeding floodwaters leave you with a squishy carpet!
- May you be prosecuted by Darden and Clark!
- Henceforth, whenever you utter the name “Dick Butkis,” all those around you will giggle uncontrollably!
- May your limo’s bar be painfully understocked!
- May the brutal wrath of the entire French Army come down upon your head!
- May your only daughter be trapped in a steam bath with Michael Jackson!
- You will be banished to Oregon where you will faithfully send in contributions to the Top Five List… yet none will ever make #1!
And the Number 1 Least Frightening Curse…
- From this day forth, your sport utility vehicle, and those of your children, will make a small ‘ping’ when shifting into 3rd!
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CREDITS
Selected from 87 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Bill Gray, Waterloo, Ontario, Canada — 1 (1st #1!)
- Ken Shinodo, Keizer, OR — 2, 9
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 3, 7
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 4, 7
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 5
- R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 6
- Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 7
- Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA — 8
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 10
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 11
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 12
- Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 13
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 14
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