The list for September 17, 1997
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Vacation Report From Italy (Last in a series)
September 17: I’m entering the home stretch of my vacation in Italy.
My single favorite moment of the entire vacation: Before the Awards Ceremony on the closing night of the Venice Film Festival, I saw an extremely arrogant, snotty-looking
young Italian film studio executive-type, with the requisite beautiful model on his arm, walk right through a large pile of something left behind by the horse of a mounted
policeman, ruining his $500 shoes and leaving him smelling like *Hollywood* film studio executives for the remainder of the evening.
— Arrivederci! Chris
The Top 15 Indications It’s A Slow News Day
- Big story on child labor focuses on the sweatshop environment of the lemonade stand.
- Weather reporter shows footage of clouds shaped remarkably like bunnies.
- Katie Couric takes a long lunch and seven bodies turn up in the dumpsters behind Rockefeller Center. Coincidence? I think not.
- Peter Jennings manages to make a balloon poodle on-air after only six tries.
- “This just in – Goobers and Raisinets are actually BOTH chocolate-covered treats AND mighty good to eat.”
- Barbara Walters and Mike Wallace exchange false teeth and read the news in their best Beavis and Butt-head voices.
- “Let’s see what our extended 100-day forecast looks like…”
- Tom Brokaw opens with: “Let me tell you about my grandchildren!”
- Tonight’s feature story: “Nothing Brings a Family Together Like a Turtle.”
- I-team bursts into Dunkin’ Donuts to expose police “Cruller Corruption.”
- Ted Koppel investigates Sam Donaldson’s bad haircut.
- Daily on-air blood quota met by staging an Ultimate Fighting contest between the weather guy and the traffic reporter.
- Only thing on the front page is a giant Family Circus.
- You’re Dan Rather, and you’re wearing a halter top.
And the Number 1 Indication It’s A Slow News Day…
- For the last hour and a half on CNN, it’s been nothing but Bernie Shaw, his comb, and some tissue paper.
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CREDITS
Selected from 90 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 1, 8 (3rd #1)
- Laura A. Hyatt, Albuquerque, NM — 2 (Rookie!)
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 2
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 4
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 5, 10
- Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 6
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 7, 9
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 9
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 11
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 12
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 13
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 14
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 15
- Jose J. Bartolomei, Ann Arbor, MI — Topic
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — Banner Tag
- Huey Lewis, San Francisco, CA — Ambience
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