The list for December 11, 1997
The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say
to Your Pregnant Wife
(Part I)
to Your Pregnant Wife
(Part I)
- "Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds."
- "Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
- "I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!"
- "Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
- "Damn if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
- "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt."
- "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
- "I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?"
- "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
- "Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
- "Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today."
- "Got milk?"
- "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
- "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
- "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife…
- "You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."
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CREDITS
Selected from 143 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- R.M. Weiner, Somerville, MA — 1 (4th #1)
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 2
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 3
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 4
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 5, 7
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 6
- Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Canada — 8
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 9
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 10
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 11
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 12
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 13
- Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY — 14
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 15, Topic
- William Gray, San Jose, CA — 16
- Robert Sullivan, Salem, OR — Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Dinosaur, Jr., San Francisco, CA — Ambience
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