Failed Nostradamus Predictions for 1996

The list for January 3, 1997

The Top 12 Failed Nostradamus
Predictions for 1996

“Invasion by the great bear of the north fails to materialize, as Ditka the Gruff remains a prisoner of the evil glass box.”
“The daughter of the dethroned king Elvis shall remain blissfully united with the ever-lightening new king Jacko.”
“Leiderhosen and exploding hats dominate the fashion scene.”
“A maniacal man of great wealth is chosen to be their leader. His visage scares small children, and he is known as Forbes Perot.”
“That which is called ‘Men Behaving Badly’ wins that which is called ‘Emmy.'”
“The land of Montana is recognized as the cradle of the finest America has to offer.”
“A subtle artistic expression called The Macarenus will restore reasonable thinking and cause peace and harmony to flourish everywhere.”
“The man known as ‘Netanyahu’ resigns due to intense international pressure caused by his having such a silly-ass name.”
“The seer known as LaToya shall correctly predict something other than the setting of the sun.”
“The Beast with the Multicolored Mane will join with She of Conical Endowment to populate the planet with their evil offspring.”
“The one known as ‘Pen-in-Fist’ shall smite mightily the white-haired ruler called ‘Tubby’.”

And the Number 1 Failed Nostradamus Prediction for 1996…

“The world will end abruptly in March as The Ace of Ventura captures a short man of gold named Oscar.”

CREDITS

Selected from 88 submissions from 32 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5010397