The list for April 8, 1994
The Top 11 Duties of a New Supreme Court Justice
- Clean up the pizza mess from last night’s session.
- Toss the coin in case of a tie.
- Work the pause button when reviewing porno case evidence.
- Have secretary leave a message for Clarence Thomas, from “Anita.”
- Must lip-sync “I Fought The Law” at the initiation.
- Help Justice Thomas with his “briefs.”
- Pick up Diana Ross’ sequined dress from the cleaners. (Oops! Sorry…)
- Join Justice Thomas by shouting out the window to passing women, “Hey baby, wanna rap my gavel?”
- Invite Judge Wapner over just so everyone can make fun of him.
- Keeper of the Geritol.
And the Number 1 Duty of a New Supreme Court Justice…
- Tell Stephanopoulos to kiss your butt — after all, you’re on the Supreme Court!
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CREDITS
Today’s list authors were:
- John Fein, San Diego, CA – 1, 3, 4, 8 (Rookie!)
- Paul Henne, Landover, MD – 2, 11 (Rookie!)
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN – 5, 6, 9
- Ken Woo, San Diego, CA – 7
- Chris White, San Diego, CA – 10, Topic
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