The list for August 25, 1998
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Attorney Johnny Cochran, in his defense of
O.J. Simpson, came up with the now-famous rhyme,
“If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”
O.J. Simpson, came up with the now-famous rhyme,
“If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”
Of course, the highly-unpaid staff of Top5 Contributors
also had to try their hand at similar legal lyricism…
The Top 12 Cochranisms for 1998
- If your hair has a smell, it must be that gel.
- If the coach is a dope, he ought to be choked.
- If the kids are all crotchety, they must have Tamagachi.
- If she’s loose at the lip, she must be a Tripp.
- If the Cowboys pay cash, then Irvin didn’t slash.
- If it was written by Carlin, clean your disk out by mornin’.
- If the talk show stars Magic, it’s going to be tragic.
- If you eat that Olean, your pants won’t stay clean.
- The man’s no criminal, if the stain isn’t seminal.
- If your tummy needs Beano, place the blame on El Nino.
- Only *four* worthless tarts, after Ginger departs.
And the Number 1 Cochranism for 1998…
- If George Michael’s in the stall, better pee in the hall.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 89 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 1 (8th #1)
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 2, RU Name (10th #1)
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 3
- Paul Paternoster, Los Altos Hills, CA — 4, 11 (Hall of Famer)
- Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA — 5
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA — 6
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 7
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 8 (Hall of Famer)
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 9, 12
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 10
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
- Jeff Beck, Seattle, WA — Topic
- Nathan Hansar, Australia — Banner tag
- Bruce Cockburn, Toronto, CA — Ambience
T5Aug2598.shtml
