The list for October 16, 1997
The Top 16 Chelsea Clinton
Pet Peeves About College
Pet Peeves About College
- Every time she cuts her 8am class, CNN switches to a live feed from the lecture hall.
- PoliSci textbook only contains pictures from her “dumpy” years.
- Social life hampered by mandatory Secret Service body cavity search of potential dates.
- No room in dorm for all those boxes of missing Whitewater documents.
- Daddy won’t sign the Cafeteria Food Reform Bill.
- No one wants to waste good pot on a Clinton.
- Steamy makeout sessions usually end with the guy getting his ass kicked by the Secret Service.
- Tipper no longer around to clean up after her and Socks.
- Every boy who hits on you winds up on a “peacekeeping force” in Bosnia within 48 hours.
- Constant comparisons to notable Stanford alum Ted Koppel usually refer to physical resemblance.
- Bourbon shots not free like the ones “Uncle Ted” serves back home.
- Drunken frat boys always confusing her with Amy Carter.
- Football coach keeps begging her to get Janet Reno to enroll.
- RA’s write you up if the Chinese Delegates stay past midnight.
- Anatomy lab cadaver none other than Al Gore.
And the Number 1 Chelsea Clinton Pet Peeve About College…
- The man makes 200 grand a year — you’d think he could bring his own weed when he visits.
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CREDITS
Selected from 129 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 1, 6, Topic (2nd #1)
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 2
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 3
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 4
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 4
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 5
- Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA — 7
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 8
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 9, 14
- Fred Hesby, Portland, OR — 10
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 11
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 12, 14
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 13
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI — 14
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 14
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 15
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 16
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — Banner Tag
- The Kingsmen, whereabouts unknown — Ambience
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