The list for March 25, 1998
The Top 15 Changes in Moby Dick
Starring Patrick Stewart
Starring Patrick Stewart
- "Thar she blows!" replaced by "White whale decloaking off the starboard bow! Red alert!"
- After animal rights activists complain, producers change Ahab’s quest and send him to J.C. Penney’s in search of the Great White Sale.
- Captain Ahab spends time with Moby Dick, a large white mammal with no hair. Conspicuously absent is William Shatner, a large white mammal with no hair.
- Controversial scene in which Captain Ahab harpoons a drowning Leonardo DiCaprio.
- Captain Ahab is transported to the whale’s belly to bring Jonah a nice bowl of chicken soup.
- "Sea — the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Star-Kist Enterprise."
- In a cheesy display of product placement, Starbuck now brings the captain coffee every morning.
- "Non-traditional casting" allows blue whale to play role of Moby Dick.
- You just KNOW the unknown crewmen with the red tunics are going to fall overboard before the first commercial.
- In response to pressure from Ralph Reed and Pat Robertson, name of the whale has been changed to "Moby Richard."
- Two words: Blowhole Cam
- "Prime directive be damned! I said, kill the whale that bit off my friggin’ leg!"
- A couple of Phaser blasts over their heads and those Greenpeace wimps scatter.
- Whale beamed aboard the ship in the first minute. Rest of the movie sucks.
And the Number 1 Change in Moby Dick Starring Patrick Stewart…
- Ahab also searching for Moby Dick’s big brother, Moby Diggler.
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CREDITS
Selected from 159 submissions from 61 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 1, 7 (6th #1)
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA — 2
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 2
- John Gennity, Woodhaven, NY — 3
- Gene Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT — 4
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 5
- Patrick Major, Dallas, OR — 6 (Rookie!)
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 6
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ — 6
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 7
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 8
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 9
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 9, 15, RU list name
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 10
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 10
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 10, Topic
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 11
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 12
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 13
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 14
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — Grieving Dietrich owner
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Moby, Darien, CT — Ambience
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