The list for December 17, 1997
The Top 16 Changes at the White House
Now That the Clintons Have a Puppy
Now That the Clintons Have a Puppy
- To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
- New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out a midnight run to McDonald’s.
- At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”
- President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.
- “Bitch” label now somewhat ambiguous.
- Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
- New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
- Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading “Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!”
- Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.
- Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List.
- Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.
- Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
- Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.
- To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
- “Get that horny furball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President.
And the Number 1 Change at the White House Now That the Clintons Have a Puppy…
- Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.
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CREDITS
Selected from 130 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 6 (2nd #1)
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 2
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 3
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 4, 11
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 5
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 6
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 7
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 8
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 9
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 10
- Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA — 11
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 11
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 12, 15
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 12
- William Gray, San Jose, CA — 12
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 12
- Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN — 12
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 12
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 12
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA — 12
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 13
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 14
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 16
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — Topic
- Robert Sullivan, Salem, OR — Banner Tag
- David Bowie, London, England — Ambience
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