The list for January 22, 2013
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Depending on who you ask, Notre Dame University football
star Manti Te’o is either the victim or a co-perpetrator of
a hoax in which the Heisman finalist and likely first-round
NFL draft pick was tricked by someone into thinking he was
in a long-distance relationship with a woman he never met.
star Manti Te’o is either the victim or a co-perpetrator of
a hoax in which the Heisman finalist and likely first-round
NFL draft pick was tricked by someone into thinking he was
in a long-distance relationship with a woman he never met.
The subsequent story of the woman’s supposed death from
leukemia became his team’s most dramatic storyline as the
Fighting Irish went undefeated through the regular season.
The Top 14 Benefits of
Having an Imaginary S.O.
Having an Imaginary S.O.
- Who else is going to encourage your "Star Wars" fetish and dress up like Jar-Jar Binks during sex?
- You get a private pole dance all day every day at the fire station… it’s almost like you aren’t even working!
- Always have leftovers after those romantic dinners at Denny’s.
- Nothing will test your "progressive" parents’ mettle like telling them your gay lover is poor, black, Jewish and *imaginary*.
- He’s the most sensitive, emotionally intelligent man you’ve ever met!
- Finally your crazy uncle at Thanksgiving dinner will have someone to talk to after his fifth Scotch.
- She usually forgives you when you forget to buy her imaginary chocolates, imaginary roses, and imaginary jewelry.
- Odds are you’ll have more sex than someone with a real spouse.
- Splitting half the food with someone finally justifies that $45-a-day Burger King habit.
- Zero risk of being seen together by your *other* imaginary girlfriend.
- The only STDs you can catch are the psychosomatic type.
- She gets along great with all your World of Warcraft-playing friends’ imaginary girls.
- Finally, someone to spend your imaginary paycheck on!
And the Number 1 Benefit of Having an Imaginary S.O….
- All imaginary orgasms are simultaneous.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 90 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 1 (14th #1)
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA — 2
- Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 3
- Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 4
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 5
- Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA — 5
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 6
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI — 7
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 8
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 8
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 9, 13
- Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 10
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 11, Topic
- Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 12
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 14
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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