The list for November 18, 1996
The Top 12 Activities Planned
for Michael Jackson’s Honeymoon
for Michael Jackson’s Honeymoon
- Make prank phone calls to a certain deceased rock star’s daughter.
- Hire that Crocodile Dundee guy to carry bride over threshold.
- The now-traditional “exchanging of the noses.”
- Plan a 50 state, multi-media, high exposure plea to respect their privacy.
- Watch “Thriller” video and scream like little girls.
- Same as last time: Send the wife home and take a group of young boys to EuroDisney.
- That tender moment when they both remove their veils.
- Every morning: 1. Throw up. 2. Check on condition of pregnant wife.
- A lot of crotch grabbing, moaning and heavy breathing — but no sex.
- Make sure Michael understands that the baby may not be 100% white.
- Her: Laying on the beach. Him: Laying on the bleach.
And the Number 1 Activity Planned for Michael Jackson’s Honeymoon…
- Knock up some more chicks!
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CREDITS
Selected from 113 submissions by 41 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 1, 7
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI — 2
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 2
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 4
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 5
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 6
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 7
- Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA — 8
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 9
- Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 10, 12
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 11
- Dee Anne Phillips, Shreveport, LA — 12
- Marc Cukier, Toronto, Canada — 12
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 12
- Gloria Monti, New York, NY — Topic
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