Things Overheard in Online School Classes

The list for May 6, 2020
The Top 16 Things Overheard
in Online School Classes

  1. "Miss Watson, your face looks weird without tons of make-up on it."

  2. "Billy, please tell me that’s a whoopee cushion I keep hearing."

  3. "Yes, Kayla, you may use the bathroom. WAIT, FIRST PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE!"

  4. "My dad says I only have to pretend to listen."

  5. "Pssst! At 11:00 we"re all going to drop our Chromebooks on the floor. Pass it along!"

  6. "Students, I can read all your private comments. And just for the record, I am not a dumb whore."

  7. "Today in wood shop class we will be making an air guitar."

  8. "Miss Jenkins? I don’t feel so good. May I be please be excused to log on to WebMD?"

  9. "Sorry, Jimmy, I checked the calendar and it’s NOT no pants day!"

  10. "Okay, kids, time to take a 5-minute break for anybody who needs to potty, and so that I can reconsider my life choices."

  11. "Homework? No, the dog ate my memory stick."

  12. "Before we begin this class on Elizabethan poetry, please be aware that, from time to time, my cat will exhibit his butthole on camera."

  13. "Todd, your ‘Todd’s Butt’ background is inappropriate."

  14. "Jimmy, I know I said you could do your video report anywhere, but I’m getting dizzy. Please get off the trampoline."

  15. "Miss Jenkins, how come our houses look so much nicer than yours?"
And the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Online School Classes…

  1. "Now students, please click on the PayPal logo in the lower right hand corner of your screen and enter an amount equivalent to the grade you would like to receive."
Selected from 92 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 1, 10 (41st #1)
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 2
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 3
  • Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 4
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 4
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 5
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 6
  • Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 6
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 7
  • Gretchen Kinka, Brookfield, IL — 8
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — 9, 12
  • Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 11
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 13, 15
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 14
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 14
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List moderator, Banner Tag

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