The list for January 22, 2021
The Top 20 Signs the Transition
Isn’t Going Smoothly
Isn’t Going Smoothly
- Bed in Lincoln Bedroom has a sunken impression of Rudy.
- All your new cabinet members ask for pre-emptive pardons, "You know, just in case."
- Former head of the Space Force took the instructions for the half-built Lego Death Star.
- The VP Office’s private bathroom only has a urinal.
- Big Mac wrappers still in bottom desk drawer, along with knee pads left over from the Clinton administration.
- The outgoing president retroactively pardoned the Confederacy.
- With business down 400%, the closest McDonald’s to the White House requests an emergency federal bailout.
- Unemployment rate jumps due to workers who are no longer needed to make Lady Gaga’s skirt.
- EPA called in to scrub the orange ring from the White House residence bathtub.
- Both Melanias show up to pack up their things.
- "So if I’m the Second Gentleman, Kamala, who the hell is the first?"
- White House kitchen staff require extensive retraining on the preparation and serving of vegetables.
- Old issues of Hustler and Screw hidden in the Resolute Desk.
- The Secret Service lost sight of Nicholas Cage for sixty seconds and now Air Force One is missing.
- The derisive nickname industry has totally collapsed.
- White House grounds has no place to park the new president’s horse and buggy.
- Melania forgot to leave the deadbolt key to her bedroom.
- Even YOUR press secretary is calling you Sleepy Joe.
- You’re being sworn in by that viking/buffalo hat guy.
And the Number 1 Sign the Transition Isn’t Going Smoothly…
- Barron has greased the White House stairs and there’s a bucket of cement hanging from the East Room chandelier.
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CREDITS
Selected from 100 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Mike Vance, Houston, TX — 1, 8 (2nd #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 3
- Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 4
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 5
- Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 6
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 7
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 9
- Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 10
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 11
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 12
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 13
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 14, 18
- Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 15
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA — 16
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA — 16
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — 17, list moderator
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 19
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 20
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