The list for October 1, 1996
The Top 16 Signs Your Hotel Room Is Haunted
- Complimentary thin mint replaced with complimentary crucifix and holy water.
- You occasionaly hear: “Sonny, Red — let’s go on down to that Burger King and get us another Whopper.”
- Spectra-Vision showing “Poltergeist” 24 hours a day.
- Strange voices command you to “Get Out!” and it’s not even 11am yet!
- Lousy tip results in the bellboy giving you the finger — literally.
- Free continental breakfast? Frankenberry and Count Chocula.
- Hendrix and Morrison keep trashing the place while you’re out.
- You mysteriously break a glass every time you hear about your ex-wife’s murder.
- Whenever you leave your room for a few hours, a mysterious force makes your bed and folds your towels.
- The courtyard beneath your window contains an inordinate number of dead priests.
- Into the room comes a loathsome, evil, disgusting figure — and it’s not Leona Helmsley.
- That relentless voice coming from the minibar: “Eat me… Eat me…”
- Your tumble with a $200-a-night hooker causes your career to mysteriously disappear.
- Paper strip around toilet seat says “Exorcized for Your Protection.”
- The bedsheet keeps tenting, and you ain’t watching Baywatch, dude.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Hotel Room Is Haunted…
- Every time you get in the shower, Tony Perkins shows up in drag.
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CREDITS
Selected from 126 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 1 (3rd #1)
- Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 2
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 3
- Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 3
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 3, 11
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3
- Norman Kenney, Carlsbad, CA — 4
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 5, 12
- Don Horton, Sacramento, CA — 6
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 7
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 8
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI — 9 (Rookie!)
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 10
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 10
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 13
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 14
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 14
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 14
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 14
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 15
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 16
- Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 16
- Joe Desiderio, New York, NY — 16
- Allen Cohn, San Francisco, CA — Topic
- Kristin Anderson, Chicago, IL — Topic
- Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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