The list for August 8, 1997
The Top 15 Old TV Show Plots Updated
for the 90’s (Part II)

  1. “Lassie” — Timmy falls down the old well, bringing a CNN news crew and a dozen benefit concerts before Lassie can even say, “Woof”.

  2. “Lost in Space” — Hilarity abounds when the Robot discovers what appears to be a remote control car examining rocks on the red planet.

  3. “Bonanza” — Federal ATF agents lay siege to the Ponderosa after Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe declare themselves “freemen.”

  4. “Diff’rent Strokes” — Willis joins the Dallas Cowboys.

  5. “My Three Sons” — Ernie learns a valuable lesson about genital warts.

  6. “MTV’s Gilligan’s Island” — Seven people from diverse backgrounds arrive at a hip exotic South Pacific island, where they’ll room together for the next few years while a camera catches every zany development.

  7. “Dobie Gillis” — Maynard G. Krebbs smokes some bad crack and hallucinates that he’s a castaway stuck on an island with a bunch of other nitwits.

  8. “Happy Days” — Fonzie contracts herpes but is quickly healed after snapping his fingers and yelling, “Hey!”

  9. “Hogan’s Heroes ” — Sgt. Schultz opens a great new soup restaurant in Manhattan.

  10. “The Honeymooners” — Trixie and Alice surprise the boys by returning from the mall with pierced tongues.

  11. “The Fugitive” — Dr. Richard Kimble, the prime suspect in his wife’s murder, decides to stop searching for the “real murderer” so he can concentrate on his golf game.

  12. “The Brady Bunch” — A loan shark shows Greg the ins and outs of a compound fracture, and Marcia gets hit in the nose by a drive-by shooting.

  13. “Mork and Mindy” — Mindy panics when “Dr. Mork” breaks out the probe.

  14. “The Andy Griffith Show” — Guest star Michael Jackson’s keen interest in Opie has Andy worried and Barney in a snit.
And the Number 1 Old TV Show Plot Updated for the 90’s…

  1. “Bewitched” — Samantha gives Darren a permanent woody; Endora mischievously relocates it to his forehead; Darren explains it to Larry Tate by saying it’s part of his new marketing campaign for Unicorn Industries.
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CREDITS
Selected from 149 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 1 (4th #1)
  • Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 2
  • Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 3
  • Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 4
  • Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL — 4, 11
  • Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 5, 14
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 6
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 7
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 8
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 9
  • Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 10
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 12
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 13
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 15
  • The Monkees, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
  • Joel McClure, Royal Oak, MI — Banner tag
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