New York Ways to Celebrate the Yankees’ Victory

The list for October 30, 1996

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

We realize that a certain Mr. Letterman did a similar
topic (okay, practically the *same* topic) on Monday
night, but we’d already thought these up and felt
they were too good to throw away. You be the judge.

The Top 15 New York Ways to Celebrate
the Yankees’ Victory

Kick the holy snot out of anyone you ever saw doing the “tomahawk chop.”
Spit-a-Thon on the banks of the beautiful Hudson River.
Slug a few beers, then slug a few tourists.
Ask Kathie Lee — New Yorkers never celebrate ANYTHING without first consulting Kathy Lee.
Even with Jersey in the way, a statewide synchronized-mooning of Atlanta.
College scholarship fund for that Maier kid.
Do shots of 50% champagne and 50% tobacco juice.
Go “wilding” with Mayor Rudy.
Hookers on 38th Street offering discounts for multiple “at bats.”
Make plans to see Steinbrenner’s ego in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Give key to the city to the New Yorker who “smells the most like Babe Ruth.”
Light up the Empire State Building beer-piss yellow.
Loota-palooza!
Liza Minelli and Carole Channing star as brothers Joe and Frank Torre in a moving revival of “Damn Yankees” on Broadway.

And the Number 1 New York Way to Celebrate the Yankees’ Victory…

In true Yankee fashion, Steinbrenner fires manager Joe Torre and re-hires the late Billy Martin.

CREDITS

Selected from 105 submissions by 34 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

Gene/Cynthia Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT — 1,4 (3rd #1)
Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 1 (4th #1)
Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 1 (4th #1)
Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 2, 9
David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 3
Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 5
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 6, 10
Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 7
Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 8
Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 11
Sterling Smith, Houston, TX — 12
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 13
Kate d’Oliveira, Ft. Lauderdale, FL — 14
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 15
Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister

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