Signs You’re Way Too Obsessed With Sports

The list for November 7, 2013
The Top 15 Signs You’re Way
Too Obsessed With Sports

  1. You grew a beard during the playoffs. And so did your wife, which you found kinda sexy.

  2. You congratulate your co-workers for a job well done by slapping them on the ass, and you’re not the mayor of San Diego.

  3. You pull your husband from your mound and bring in a closer.

  4. Your family’s Sunday pancake breakfast takes place in a faceoff circle, and if your reflexes aren’t quick enough, you go hungry.

  5. You hire Michael Buffer and two ring girls for your employee review.

  6. You’re now asking the wife to inject EACH buttock with a syringe full of orange juice before you head off to work.

  7. You’re part of a fantasy curling league.

  8. The Pro Football Hall of Fame has an exhibit featuring your living room.

  9. After he orgasms, you tell your husband that the hunky neighbor is coming over for "the second half of today’s scheduled double header."

  10. The only thing you notice in Miley Cyrus’ twerking routine is her awesome foam finger.

  11. Your kids are named Gronk, Megatron, Crime Dog and Big Unit. And those are just the girls.

  12. After every staff meeting, you dump Gatorade over your boss.

  13. Every Monday, you post your children’s rankings on the fridge.

  14. "Not now, Charlize! ‘Sports Center’ is on."
And the Number 1 Signs You’re Way Too Obsessed With Sports…

  1. On your daughter’s 16th birthday, you present her with the keys to a brand new Zamboni.
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CREDITS
Selected from 77 submissions from 31 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 1 (56th #1)
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 2
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3
  • Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 4
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 4, 9
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5
  • Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 6
  • Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 7, 10
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 8, 15
  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 11
  • Daina Schatz, New York, NY — 12
  • Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 13
  • Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 14, Topic
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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