The list for April 17, 2020
The Top 16 Signs Staying at Home
Is Making Your Kids Crazy
Is Making Your Kids Crazy
- Johnny’s pillow fort is now seven stories high with a moat and a dungeon.
- Your 2nd-grader is writing a report on Stockholm Syndrome.
- Two teenage boys tired of masturbating? You do the math.
- Threw out their Chinese Checkers after the White House briefing, just in case.
- "Broccoli! I want broccoli! Moo-oo-om! Why can’t I have brooooccoliiii?!?"
- The 7-year-old has taught the 5-year-old to projectile vomit.
- The twins have figured out how to make Alexa cry.
- Kayla keeps stepping on LEGOs barefoot "just want to feel something."
- Invokes his sovereign citizenship to avoid room-cleaning duty.
- He sits, barely moving, staring like he’s in a catatonic state. And he’s NOT playing Fortnite.
- They keep asking when "The Dr. Fauci Show" comes on.
- The dog is wearing eight coats of finger paint, the hamster has dreadlocks, and they’ve somehow managed to sew the cats into a coat for Grandma.
- "Mom, I’m 71 years old with COVID-19. Can I *please* wear the crown?"
- Since running out of Elmer’s, her macaroni art is held together by feces.
- Little Bobby has made bump stocks for his Nerf gun.
And the Number 1 Sign Staying at Home Is Making Your Kids Crazy…
- Tea parties with dolls are now serving Cuervo Gold and Lucky Strikes.
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CREDITS
Selected from 99 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 1 (24th #1)
- Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 2, 5
- Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 3
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 5
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 5
- Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 6
- Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 7
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 9
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 10, 12
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 11
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 13
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 14
- Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 15
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 16
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — 16, List moderator
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