The list for January 8, 2021
The Top 20 Items on
Capitol Stormers’ To-Do Lists
Capitol Stormers’ To-Do Lists
- Storm Avis and get them to Stop The Count on this rental agreement.
- Check eBay for bids on the "Pelosi’s desktop knick-knacks" collection.
- Fold up a libtard and stick him in one of fancy those electoral vote boxes.
- Hand-wash confederate flag bra in Woolite.
- Get the Proud Boys to whip up some of those delicious sandwiches they’re famous for.
- Comb Viking hat, because no one takes a poorly groomed insurrectionist seriously.
- Check if Jodie Foster is impressed.
- Back to writing dissertation on Bolivian Political Stability.
- Post more memes about those lawless BLM thugs.
- Demand to be crowned prom king; that election was stolen from me back in 1992!
- Raise bail money by selling "I survived the failed insurgence" T-shirts.
- Text Mom to make sure no Feds are snooping around the basement.
- Call that hot Congresswoman you saw in the hall to ask if she noticed the spark between you while she was running for her life.
- Choose camo pants that work both Senate and House Chambers.
- Swipe a tube of Lotrimin from Ted Cruz’s desk drawer.
- Draw a Hitler mustach on the George Washington portrait, see if anyone notices.
- Beef up the suspension on the General Lee so that it can climb the steps.
- Figure out how to dub Fleetwood Mac song onto a TikTok of me getting teargassed.
- Hallmark Channel movie marathon to reconnect with my feminine side.
And the Number 1 Item on Capitol Stormers’ To-Do Lists…
- Have my scrotum tattooed with the American flag, and my testicles removed so it can patriotically flap in the breeze.
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CREDITS
Selected from 112 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 1 (20th #1)
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 2
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 3
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
- Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 5
- Richie Ruben, Hackensack, NJ — 5
- Mike Vance, Houston, TX — 6
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 7
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 9
- Kathleen Walder, Stow, OH — 10
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 11
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 12, 19
- David E. Spiro, New York, NY — 13
- Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 14
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 15
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 16
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — 17, list moderator
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 18
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 19
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 19
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 19, 20
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Topic
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