The list for December 20, 2013
The Top 17 Cost-Cutting Holiday Seasons Ideas
- Fill a fruitcake tin with mud and let it dry. Superglue the lid on. No one has opened one in 50 years, so you’re good.
- Tell kids Christmas is January 25th; score everything 75% off.
- Let’s just say that most Toys for Tots bins aren’t monitored by security cameras.
- Two words: dingleball ornaments
- Save on your shopping budget with a quick walk around the neighborhood, right after the UPS and FedEx trucks go by.
- C’mon, your neighbor’s never going to miss that pine tree from his front yard.
- "Sorry, kids, Santa’s in jail again this year."
- THE Christmas present for all your non-Christian friends: Say you’ll pray for them.
- Re-purpose inexpensive birthday cards. Simply pencil in ", Jesus!"
- Stand outside the grocery store asking for donations of milk, cream, sugar, eggs and nutmeg. Voila! Beg Nog.
- Undocumented carolers.
- Contract with North Korea to hang political prisoners from your tree.
- Invite your psychiatrist and have a combined family gathering/group therapy session.
- That’s not snow-frozen dog shit —- they’re Outdoor Lincoln Logs(R)!
- Avoid the expense and headaches of fighting for the lowest priced gifts at the mall by just staying at home and punching yourself in the face instead.
- Last year: Christmas shopping. This year: Christmas shoplifting.
And the Number 1 Cost-Cutting Holiday Seasons Idea…
- Put a great, big bow in the middle of the driveway overnight. In the morning, when you lead your S.O. out to see their big surprise, you scream, "Oh my God! Somebody stole it!"
Selected from 73 submissions from 26 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 1, 13 (32nd #1)
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA — 2
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 3
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 4
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 5
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 6
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 7
- John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN — 8, 13
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 9
- Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 10
- Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 11
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 12
- Shaune R. Stark, Cedar Park, TX — 14
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 15
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 16
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 17
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor